Catching Storm

I splash cold water in my face.
Cooling down that heat of uncertainty, of not knowing, of future impossibility
or possibility.

Is it love? I don’t know.
Do you?
How do you know?
Impossible?

We don’t know what it will be like.
No idea if our love will spark up a fire or be too weak to climb that mountain.

Will we be sociable, emotional, financially responsible, intellectually functional
or will we just fall in a pit we’re digging ourselves.

Getting off track, trying to follow this highway like a maniac. Is there any turning back?
Aspiration, idealization, finding the right equation.
I look at it all, my eyes grow wild and in it you can see them reflecting a light
of pure panic.

I don’t know.

What is the right thing to do, the right choice?
Who should I listen to, where is my own voice?

I don’t know.

All is there, as in a suspension in the sky
and I just don’t know.

Meanwhile, I try my best to create possibility.
No way I’m getting stuck in impossibility, that’s just not me,
I always see, I won’t flee, even if I just wanna be free
of all these questions, all these doubts,
of missing you so bad I wanna scream out loud.

Where is my solidity, my inner serenity, that mountain stability?
I need me.
I need that part of me.
I hear your calm voice and get a glimpse of it in myself.

Chaos is in all the options, in all the considerations my mind goes over and over again.

But my body is still and nature is there all around me
for me to fulfill
myself.

There is no conclusion
anyway that would only be an illusion
because do we ever know what the future may behold?
Don’t let yourself be told
those Disney lies.

Thank God time flies.

gras schaduw

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